abundance

An abundant love cup

I grew up with my love cup overflowing. I had no conscious awareness of what it was to not be loved. What a gift! To take for granted that life would always supply me with an abundance of people to love.

My physical & material health/ wealth were never an issue. I never bothered to invest too much energy into them and as a result maintained an adequate state of health. As long as I wasn’t sick, could independently earn my own money & pay my own mortgage I was good as gold.

As you may know, if you read these blogs, it was the loss of my father and my partner within weeks of each other that projected me down a path. Through an existing understanding of yoga and meditation, I journeyed to discover mental clarity as well as emotional and spiritual health. I used yoga to heal the pain in my heart – and I conquered.

Let go

At 6.30am New Years Day, 2019 while meditating on the beach, I received a strong message to let go. I was so healthy, clear and content there on that beach. It was overwhelming. It was time to take this inner abundance and see it beautifully represented in my life. Upon arriving back in NZ, my inner cups overflowing, I started to see life through a new lense.

My physical and material health and wealth cups were only ½ full.

I noticed that my life didn’t match these other states of abundance that I had invested tonnes of energy into. From an internal abundant state, it began to feel stressful to have any lack in my life.

I often talk in class about never resisting the deep urges and cravings that we have inside. Diving headfirst into my cravings while studying the negative results of my unhealthy behaviour is how I’ve lived my life. Under the guidance of wise teaches (this is a must), I’d study, then share with my students. Through this process I became completely unattached to my healthy behaviour and completely fearless in the face of my shitty behaviour. Eventually I became disinterested in the things that didn’t serve me and began to take for granted a state of health that remained for longer periods. Today I am effortlessly able to maintain a state of health without any fear of losing it. If I lose it momentarily, I bounce back with ease. The people in my life reflect how happy and stable I feel within.

Filling up my other cups

My love cup still full, once my emotional, mental and spiritual cups became abundant, I felt satiated. It’s a bit like eating the most delicious hearty pasta and then going back for seconds. Once your belly is full and you’re satisfied, you couldn’t possibly eat a third serving. You appreciate the food, you want the others at the table to experience the same, and you may even lead others to that dish who have never tried it before. But you don’t need to keep eating.

I discovered, that even though I felt amazing inside, loved, emotionally stable, mentally calm, life reflecting that, something was still missing. I had too much financial stress and I was unwilling to accept that in my 40’s, my physical health would not be as vibrant as it was in my 30’s.

Discovering lack

My material wealth, I started to realise was a constant stressful juggle to maintain. My possessions were not remaining in my life easily, some things were unachievable due to finances and I started to think twice about buying the expensive shoes. Am I becoming a responsible adult?

Yoga relaxes you and creates a state where it is very difficult to uphold a life that is built around stress. For example, if I had to tense myself to not partake in drinking and partying until 1pm I’d rather relax, indulge and pay the price the next day. Slowly, as the rest of my life became healthier, hangovers became more stressful than resisting a desire to indulge. I eventually found it easier to exert the discipline needed to respect my body, than it did to feel bad the next day. As a result, I now choose moderation over excess and I do so with ease. I have matured.

I’ve never desired heaps of money & possessions, rather I’ve always been satisfied with having ‘enough’.  I also however, am not great at keeping any disposable income in the bank and have bloody expensive taste! I’ve been berated many a time by a certain someone for living beyond my means. This year it became more stressful to deal with the juggling of money in order to acquire the expensive possessions than it was to live within my means. I want more than that. It has also become more stressful to feel my body not perform optimally than it has been to do the work required to uphold an exceptional state of physical health. I’m not ready to succumb to age.

The stress that it once took to hold myself back, or not take action, is now less than the stress I encounter as a result of my behaviour.

Creating balance

So I’m filling up my other cups. The work that I do these days is associated with physical, financial and material health. The rewards I have received from previous work is an inner state of calm and confidence that I can achieve whatever I want to achieve, no matter how hard it is to get there. I don’t care if I am supported by another, I don’t care if I do it myself, but I am committed to doing the work to achieve my goals. I also know that, while I may receive support from those in my life, I cannot ever expect someone else to do the real work for me.

Your cups

Which of your cups are overflowing and which of your cups are only ½ full? Are you experiencing true abundance? Some people’s cups are larger and some are smaller. You may feel satisfied with only a small physical cup of health yet spend a lifetime filling a financial once. Some, it is the other way around, satisfied with a humble life in order to fill their love cup. The decider is: do you feel hungry in your quiet times, or do you feel full.

I craved knowledge and understanding on inner health and had no desire to fill any other cups. The great urge inside began to shift once my calling was complete. I then began to notice that I had still had not conquered full health and happiness. Sit still, meditate, journal even, and if you feel lack, know that you have a right to feel abundant in every facet of your life.

I promise you, with the right teachers (you need a teacher!) you can fill all of your cups.

If you experience emotional lack, mental fog or spiritual disconnect I can help you. I cannot do the work for you, but I know how to help you get there.

You deserve it.